Just over the hill and up to the pass. What a load of shit. Say my name and you won’t have any issues.
Having parted from the diplomatic rejects from both the Bush 43 and Obama cabinets, we made our way towards the pass. We encountered a goblin mining operation. Despite their experience traversing the mineshaft, we seemed to be able to outmaneuver them with ease. One tried to divert down a secondary shaft. Blaine and I continued after him at full speed. we didn’t realize the shaft narrowed and came to an abrupt end. We dived out of the cart right before it, little Jackson P and the rock face became one. Our farming friend joined us, and some bomb throwing midgets tried to box us in with the furry middle management right behind them. Due to solid teamwork, they were dispatched in short order. Z had thrown himself into the bottom of the warrens and “secured” the area below.
Secured might be too strong a word. As we crossed a bridge and checked out the mines, the goblins tried to blow the bridge behind us. In a selfless act of utter stupidity, I threw myself on the bomb to save the bridge and keep us from getting stranded. The bomb was mostly a dud, and very little hurt. We then dispatched the goblins in short order, and shored up the entrance to the mine as our point of rest for the night.
We then approached the Gate to the Dwarven pass. a lone statuesque dwarf gave us the you shall not pass routine. The illusion held back three humanoid white furry apes that had an unbelievable strength. They pelted us with stones from above. I quickly climbed the wall and threw one of them off of the gate walkway. hey proceeded to pummel us while an evil cleric held sway. after we took many lumps, I found the control crystal and smashed it. The last furball began attacking the cleric, and we ended the cleric and the yeti. We found the remains of the dwarf garrison, stripped and frozen.
We bedded down, and as I passed out, I felt a sensation, that I didn’t learn what I should have, and my exploits … weren’t as spectacularly amazing as I thought.